...Juz Wana Discard my Thinkings...
Monday, March 14, 2005
The Day My Brother Blenheim Parted With Me.
13 March 2005 was the final departure of my best friend and the most important person in my life,Blenheim Tan RiKai.
Went to Mandai near cck,i didn't cried when we were at bukit batok.I though i was strong,but my tears starts dropping after giving my speech in the service hall.When i saw his coffin being pushed into the burning place,i bow down to him full of tears and squatted down feeling so heartache.In the bus heading back to bukit batok,me and lionel were staring into the skies.
Looking at those beautiful clouds,its as though we can feel he is up there already.Somewhere looking at us.Upon alighting at his place,i poured the water i got from the mandai over me at the face.I didn't want to haf that cup of water by myself, i wanted to share it wif him.Its also a kinda blessing over me for i know Blenheim will watch over us up there.At the void deck,i had the last meal wif him as i told the others to eat alittle.His mom asked us to wash our faces and hands with the pail of water filled with flowers,to get gd luck or duno wad.i only noe its a form of chinese culture dats all.
All of us went up to his room and stayed there for a moment.Took many pictures,trying to be as happy as we could.I m sure he wans us to be happy.headed for WestMall and had dinner at MosBurger,we were laughing madly at some racist jokes and peter was kinda couldn't take it lolz.
When i reached home,something striked my mind.Today is the 15th Day i haven't recieved a msg/sms from Blenheim,i felt awkward.I started crying like i nvr did b4,till my eyes were dry n painful.My brother came to comfort me but i told him nvm..i dun really like the idea of people comforting me dats the stubborn old me,espically girls.When was the last time i really cried lidat,way long ago.I though i was strong enfu to pull through this,but i couldn't."Wo Ban Bu Dao",the though of passing a day without a sms from him or toking to him and seeing his face,hearing his voice too juz breaks my heart.
For the 1st time in my life,i m really lost,I totally broke down.I really duno how am i gona lead a day without his sms,his voice,his face and knowing i won't hear from him forever in my life.I aren't got mood to do anything now,just stonning around,not going to school neither... ¶ 6:49 PM 0 comments
Went to Mandai near cck,i didn't cried when we were at bukit batok.I though i was strong,but my tears starts dropping after giving my speech in the service hall.When i saw his coffin being pushed into the burning place,i bow down to him full of tears and squatted down feeling so heartache.In the bus heading back to bukit batok,me and lionel were staring into the skies.
Looking at those beautiful clouds,its as though we can feel he is up there already.Somewhere looking at us.Upon alighting at his place,i poured the water i got from the mandai over me at the face.I didn't want to haf that cup of water by myself, i wanted to share it wif him.Its also a kinda blessing over me for i know Blenheim will watch over us up there.At the void deck,i had the last meal wif him as i told the others to eat alittle.His mom asked us to wash our faces and hands with the pail of water filled with flowers,to get gd luck or duno wad.i only noe its a form of chinese culture dats all.
All of us went up to his room and stayed there for a moment.Took many pictures,trying to be as happy as we could.I m sure he wans us to be happy.headed for WestMall and had dinner at MosBurger,we were laughing madly at some racist jokes and peter was kinda couldn't take it lolz.
When i reached home,something striked my mind.Today is the 15th Day i haven't recieved a msg/sms from Blenheim,i felt awkward.I started crying like i nvr did b4,till my eyes were dry n painful.My brother came to comfort me but i told him nvm..i dun really like the idea of people comforting me dats the stubborn old me,espically girls.When was the last time i really cried lidat,way long ago.I though i was strong enfu to pull through this,but i couldn't."Wo Ban Bu Dao",the though of passing a day without a sms from him or toking to him and seeing his face,hearing his voice too juz breaks my heart.
For the 1st time in my life,i m really lost,I totally broke down.I really duno how am i gona lead a day without his sms,his voice,his face and knowing i won't hear from him forever in my life.I aren't got mood to do anything now,just stonning around,not going to school neither... ¶ 6:49 PM 0 comments
Sunday, March 13, 2005
Dedicated to Blenheim
My Best Friend, Blenheim, the most important person in my life. I got to know this great
pal of mine in Primary5,we were in the same class. From then onwards, we became
buddies till now we still are. Trusting and believing in one another. We had many plans
like opening a pub or some other business with the rest of the
guys(Lionel,QingShun,JunXiong and Sean)I suggest a pub to him because we both likes
to meet up and gather with people around us. When we were young, we all wanted to rent
an apartment out together or even share a car. Many night I stay over at his place, sharing
secrets and planning our future. One spectacular night, I went with him and Sean on a
reflection hike from bukit gombak to Fairfield, it was the most memorable night. Dream
are what kept us going. There was a period of time we couldn’t meet up due to
unfortunate circumstances. But we got back easily without effort after a few months.
Back in the Secondary School Days, we as the 5 always hang out together after school, its
amazing how we never get bored of one another. I wanted to get something for the group
to represent our everlasting friendship but didn’t know what was suitable, he too was
cracking his mind for a long time. After this incident, I learnt that one should never
hesitate to do what one wants to do, nobody knows what will happen tomorrow. But at
least there was no argument between the brothers when he left, he left peacefully with
everyone’s blessing into a paradise called “ Heaven”. This is the speech prepared for tml's
service.. ¶ 9:12 AM 0 comments
pal of mine in Primary5,we were in the same class. From then onwards, we became
buddies till now we still are. Trusting and believing in one another. We had many plans
like opening a pub or some other business with the rest of the
guys(Lionel,QingShun,JunXiong and Sean)I suggest a pub to him because we both likes
to meet up and gather with people around us. When we were young, we all wanted to rent
an apartment out together or even share a car. Many night I stay over at his place, sharing
secrets and planning our future. One spectacular night, I went with him and Sean on a
reflection hike from bukit gombak to Fairfield, it was the most memorable night. Dream
are what kept us going. There was a period of time we couldn’t meet up due to
unfortunate circumstances. But we got back easily without effort after a few months.
Back in the Secondary School Days, we as the 5 always hang out together after school, its
amazing how we never get bored of one another. I wanted to get something for the group
to represent our everlasting friendship but didn’t know what was suitable, he too was
cracking his mind for a long time. After this incident, I learnt that one should never
hesitate to do what one wants to do, nobody knows what will happen tomorrow. But at
least there was no argument between the brothers when he left, he left peacefully with
everyone’s blessing into a paradise called “ Heaven”. This is the speech prepared for tml's
service.. ¶ 9:12 AM 0 comments
Saturday, March 05, 2005
Pls make a Miracle Happen,God
even though his brain is dead now....he is phyiscally dead...living on artifical support to prolong his life....to wait for a miracle to happen...i still wana believe in god,to make a miracle happen.i toked to blenheim today...i told him...i wana be selfish...i dun wish God to take him away...i want him here...on this world...I told him dun he ever give up on me and himself,keep fighting...i will be receiving you back to this world...so dun give up....right now...all we could do is just pray for a miracle to happen....no scientific medicine could cure him now....only a miracle can...pls lord...lay your merciful hands upon him....i really duno what my life is gona be if he juz leave like this....he has been my best fren for almost 10 years...noone has ever been so open and true to me...he was the first one who tell me everything....i feel honured...and i wana be by his side forever more...so lord pls dun take him away from me...pls perform a miracle....i beg u lord..
¶ 6:45 PM 0 comments
